Minnesota Timberwolves Parade Planned After Win
Jan 13, 2015; Indianapolis, IN, USA; Indiana Pacers guard Rodney Stuckey (2) guards Minnesota Timberwolves guard Mo Williams (25) at Bankers Life Fieldhouse. Mandatory Credit: Thomas J. Russo-USA TODAY Sports
The Minnesota Timberwolves picked up their first win in over a month, and will now have a civic celebration back at home.
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Speaking on the condition of anonymity because no public announcement has yet been made, a Minneapolis official has confirmed that a parade will be held on the streets of Minneapolis Thursday night at 7:00 PM to commemorate last night’s 110-100 Timberwolves victory over the Indiana Pacers.
When asked why the time is right for a parade, the official said, “Quite frankly, we don’t win a lot in this state lately. Plus the Holidazzle is over until next November and like they always say, ‘If you have a parade route, you better use it.'” When asked to specify who “they” are, the official could not provide any further clarity.
Fans wishing to attend the celebration should plan to arrive early, as the first 500 parade goers will receive a commemorative coin for the occasion. One side will be emblazoned with Tuesday night’s final score, while the flip side will state, “Yes, we are still terrible, but at least Wiggins looks good.”
The Grand Marshall of the parade will be Mo Williams, who scored a Timberwolves franchise record 52 points in last night’s victory. The 52 points were the most scored by anyone in the NBA so far this season. It was also 41 points higher than his season average of 11 points per game. According to Elias Stats and Information, that was the second lowest per-game average for any NBA player who put up 50 points in a game with a minimum of 20 games played during that season.
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The Minneapolis official stated that a committee has been formed to explore the feasibility of erecting a statue in Williams’ honor. When asked where the funding came from to form the exploratory committee the official demurred, saying only, “Our roads don’t salt themselves in the winter…or get salt at all for the next few weeks.”
After learning of the parade, I contacted a St. Paul official to see if the Minnesota Wild ever win again if they will also hold a celebration. His response was, “I don’t believe we currently have enough cash in our parade coffers, but I also do not foresee us needing to make that decision any time soon.”